Heather Kinser
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2017 Valentiny Contest Entry

2/10/2017

18 Comments

 
News Flash:
I'm thrilled to say that this entry placed THIRD in the contest!
Thanks to everyone who visited the site, enjoyed my story, and voted.

     What could be more fun than entering one of Susanna Leonard Hill's mini writing contests? This year, the story entries for the "Valentiny" contest must be 214 words or less and include a character who is confused.
     At first I was, like, "Um. Nope. I can't do this." But then inspiration struck...and I had a blast composing my entry. Thanks, Susanna! Your contests are always fun and inspiring.
VALENTINE CRUSH
I hope you’ll be my valentine.
You’re not so sure? I see.
You wonder why the card I gave
is crushed and crumpled?
                                                         Gee…
 
I fashioned it with you in mind--
with paper, sequins, glue--
then gently walked it to your house.
The next part’s strange, but true…
 
I tried to place it in your box.
(Yes, that’s what I had planned.)
Just then, a sentimental ape
removed it from my hand!
 
She lumbered down the street so fast
(your note crushed in her fist).
She seemed to think she’d won my heart
but in a crazy twist
 
a magpie spied your valentine
as ruby sequins flashed.
It stole her heart! She stole your card,
flew far away…
                                   then crashed.
 
A smitten chipmunk found your note
and stuffed it down a hole.
It would have stayed there--disappeared--
except a lovelorn mole
 
insisted it was in his way
and swept it from his floor.
It popped up at my feet. What luck!
I bolted to your door.
 
Remember, it’s the thought that counts,
so don’t look so confused.
This valentine’s a fine design
it’s just a little…used.
 
And anyhow, it demonstrates
the kind of love I feel.
This crushed-up valentine is proof--
my crush on you is real!

18 Comments
Jill Proctor link
2/10/2017 10:48:15 am

Love it! Love it!

Reply
Kathryn link
2/10/2017 11:22:34 am

What a fun entry!

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Kathy Halsey
2/10/2017 11:28:35 am

Love this. Great rhyme and so much fun. Enjoyed all the animal antics, too.The ending is cute.

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Linda Schueler
2/10/2017 01:36:49 pm

That Valentine was used indeed! But at least it got back to the original recipient. Great rhyming story!

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Gregory E. Bray link
2/10/2017 02:02:33 pm

That valentine went through a lot to get to it's intended recipient. Great story. Good luck!

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Debbie Day
2/10/2017 06:43:27 pm

So stinkin cute! Way to go, such a fun story!

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Anne Lipton
2/11/2017 12:12:46 am

Great humorous entry! A Valentine's ode to "The dog ate my homework" writ large.

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Colleen Murphy link
2/11/2017 05:02:28 am

I love the flow of this poem and the journey of the card. The last stanza says it all. Well done.

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Jilanne Hoffmann
2/11/2017 11:15:10 am

Great rhyme! And I love the voice, twists and humor. A terrific entry! Good luck!

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Sandy
2/11/2017 07:27:44 pm

So cute! Great rhyme and such a fun story! Good luck!

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Gabi Snyder link
2/11/2017 08:10:43 pm

Charming rhyming story, Heather! I love the antics of the love-struck animals and also love that the Valentine found its way to the intended recipient. Beautifully done and good luck!

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Jean James link
2/13/2017 10:16:27 am

Absolutely fabulous! Great rhyme and a great story...winning combo!

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Aileen Stewart link
2/14/2017 05:12:51 am

Utterly fun and adorable.

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Traci Bold link
2/14/2017 01:42:44 pm

Wow! Perfect meter and perfect execution of story. This was really fun to read. I loved it!

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Lynn link
2/14/2017 04:23:39 pm

What a fun story! I wish you well with it.

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Cathy Ballou Mealey link
2/15/2017 10:43:50 am

A menagerie of love-struck species! Very cute Heather!

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Joanne Roberts link
2/17/2017 09:41:58 am

Wow. This is one of my favorites so far. Clever story, lovely rhyme, perfect ending. Awesome!

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Susanna Leonard Hill link
2/18/2017 11:26:17 am

Nicely done, Heather! I love the journey this Valentine took to get where it was going! Excellent rhyme! Clever ending! Thanks so much for joining in the Valentiny fun!

Reply



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