Heather Kinser
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10th Annual Halloweensie Contest Entry

10/28/2020

45 Comments

 
Update: A SCARE A SKULL A SKELETON won 4th place in the contest!

     Here's my entry for the always FUN Halloweensie contest, from Susanna Leonard Hill. This year's challenge was to write a children's story, in 100 words or less, containing the words skeleton, creep, and mask.
     How'd I do? Leave a comment below (treats only, please; no tricks).

A SCARE A SKULL A SKELETON
a scare
            a skull
                        a skeleton
                                    I clatter down the street
 
a creep
            a crawl
                        a caterwaul
                                    I’m knocking for a treat
 
a rant
            a rave
                        an open grave
                                    I wear a scary mask
 
a trick
            a treat
                        a something sweet
                                    I TAKE! (and NEVER ask)
 
a bugaboo
            a witch’s brew
                        the treat I took is cursed…
 
a salty lick
            a yuck
                        an ick
                                    my brother is the WORST!
 
a snore
            a sleep
                        a sneaky peek
                                    a tippy-toe attack
 
a spider…
            SCREAM!
                        its Halloween
                                    and—yep!—I got him back
45 Comments
Linda Hofke
10/29/2020 02:52:18 am

This is great, Heather. Fun story, good pacing, wonderful alliteration and meter.

Good luck!

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:13:35 pm

Thanks Linda. That means a lot coming from you! I'm thrilled that you stopped by to read.

Reply
Kalee Gwarjanski link
10/29/2020 03:27:10 am

Great job! Feels so sneeky

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:14:41 pm

Thanks for reading, Kalee. This was a fun one to write! Good luck, if you're competing.

Reply
Ashley Chalmers link
10/29/2020 03:36:01 am

Oh wow, this is so perfectly executed. Fab job, Heather!

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Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:16:05 pm

Thanks for sharing a comment. I had such fun writing this.

Reply
Sarah link
10/29/2020 06:26:13 am

Great rhythm, pacing and alliteration. Your ending surprised and made me laugh. Well done!

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:16:38 pm

Sarah, thanks for stopping by to read and comment!

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Colleen O Murphy link
10/29/2020 06:51:28 am

Great job with your entry!

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:17:04 pm

Much appreciated! Thanks for reading.

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Gabi Snyder link
10/29/2020 08:26:09 am

Spook-tacular, Heather! The rhyme, rhythm, and imagery are perfection and I love your surprise ending!

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:18:51 pm

Hi Gabi. I'm so excited to know that you like it! Thanks for dropping in to read and comment. I was definitely inspired by the lovely dactylic word "skeleton"--what a great launching point for a spooky story.

Reply
Deborah A Buschman link
10/29/2020 08:34:21 am

I just love it. So clever and a great ending.

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:19:33 pm

Thanks so much, Deborah. It's lovely to hear from you.

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Kelly Conroy link
10/29/2020 09:02:26 am

I love this! So suspenseful and fun to read!

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:21:08 pm

Kelly!!! Thanks for reading and commenting. You are the BEST at this. I double-dog-dare you to submit a story this year.

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Connie Bergstein Dow link
10/29/2020 09:26:51 am

I love the story, the wordplay and the format!

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Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:22:01 pm

Connie, thanks for the story love. This one was FUN to write.

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Jenna Waldman link
10/29/2020 09:34:05 am

This is fabulous, Heather! Very creative!

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Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:23:14 pm

Hey Jenna! Thanks for dropping by with a comment. Are you competing this year? (If so, I'd better run and hide.) I will keep an eye out to see if you post.

Reply
Melissa Miles link
10/29/2020 12:42:23 pm

I love this! So clever.

Reply
Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:24:56 pm

Thanks very much, Melissa. How wonderful of Susanna to offer us this inspiring prompt. We're so lucky to have her putting logs on our writing fires.

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Sarah Meade link
10/29/2020 12:44:38 pm

This is AMAZING! I loved reading it aloud. So much fun with wonderful word choices and a rollicking rhythm.

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Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:26:47 pm

Thank you, Sarah. I'm so encouraged by your comment!

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Jill Lambert link
10/29/2020 06:10:20 pm

I love the format and sound of your story. Your use of internal rhyme and alliteration made it so fun to read! Best of luck in the contest, Heather!

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Heather Kinser
10/29/2020 11:28:00 pm

Jill, thanks for commenting. Knowing what's working well helps me be a better writer. I'm glad this story is hitting the right notes!

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Mary Ann Cortez
10/30/2020 10:37:07 am

Love It! This one made me laugh out loud. Great format, felt like I was walking down the street. Very clever!

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Shelley Walden link
10/30/2020 07:23:50 pm

This is great! The rhythm is gorgeous. I love how you formatted it, too :)

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Heather Kinser
10/30/2020 10:45:16 pm

Thanks so much, Shelley. I appreciate the comment.

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Maria Marshall link
10/30/2020 07:49:00 pm

Such a fun format & and what an 'evil' trick at the end. Poor spider!

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Heather Kinser
10/30/2020 10:45:55 pm

Maria, thanks for dropping in to read and comment.

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Jilanne Hoffmann
10/30/2020 10:37:51 pm

Fabulous story! This one gets my vote!!!

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Heather Kinser
10/30/2020 10:44:44 pm

Jilanne, nice to see you here! Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you liked my offering.

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Nancy Derey Riley
10/31/2020 05:14:09 am

Love your rhythm, word choices. You captured the feel so well. Great job!

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Monica E Acker
10/31/2020 06:04:44 am

This is fantastic!

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Patricia Nozell link
10/31/2020 06:40:53 am

Wow! So descriptive & a fun twist at the end! Great job! Happy Halloween!

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JEN Garrett link
10/31/2020 03:22:33 pm

Those darn brothers deserve to be got! Fun story, happy Halloweensie!

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Chel Owens link
11/1/2020 08:13:45 am

Great rhyme and story! I liked it!

Reply
Jill Burns
11/1/2020 09:45:16 am

Cute, clever, and so much fun to read! Great word choices! I loved the ending!

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K Fischer link
11/1/2020 11:51:02 am

Great rhythm, it was a lot of fun to read out loud!

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Jenny Buchet
11/1/2020 03:13:45 pm

Great story, Heather! Good luck

Reply
Diantha Litwer
11/1/2020 04:33:16 pm

LOL! I love getting brother back with the spider.

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Virginia Neil link
11/2/2020 02:19:22 pm

So much fun and exactly the way I remember it. I love the form of your poem and your meter and rhyme are spot on.

Reply
Bonnie Kelso link
11/2/2020 05:09:15 pm

What
a
fun
entry!!!

Good luck with the contest!

Reply
Lauri Meyers link
11/3/2020 05:41:12 pm

Love the structure and the assonance!

Reply



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