 | In 2024 I participated in the Madness Poetry! competition and had my best showing ever--and the most fun. I emerged from the contest with 6 fabulous new poems, ending my run in 2nd place overall, out of a pool of 64 talented children's poets. |
In this March-madness style, single-elimination poetry tournament, 64 poets are paired in head-to-head matches and asked to battle it out until there's only one left. The turnaround times are short, as are the character limits, and a tricky challenge word is assigned in every round. The challenge word must appear in the poem! Then each match-up appears online in a live voting round. Community members, the participating poets (called "authletes"), and classrooms full of kids choose their favorites and cast their votes. It's as exciting as poetry gets!
Below are my 2024 Madness poems, and my entries from prior years can be found in this Authlete archive. Big bummer: Madness Poetry! didn't take place in 2025 and no one's sure if it's going to come back, but the site can still be found at MadnessPoetry.com.
Below are my 2024 Madness poems, and my entries from prior years can be found in this Authlete archive. Big bummer: Madness Poetry! didn't take place in 2025 and no one's sure if it's going to come back, but the site can still be found at MadnessPoetry.com.
| Round 1 Prompt word “ken” BEYOND KEN She’s got a fast Ferrari and a poodle on a string. She travels in a camper van-- with tents and everything! She owns a stunning wardrobe and some cowgirl boots, to boot, and everything is pink there-- 50 dresses (plus a suit). She’s been a pink-haired pop star, and a doctor—and a vet! I’m such a fan of Barbie!!! But… there’s something I don’t get. Her boyfriend is a beach bum in Bermuda shorts. But WHY?! If I were Barbie, I would choose a different sort of guy. —He’d read, instead of surfing. —He’d write, instead of tan. —He’d work his way through college, like an educated man. I know that Barbie’s perfect on a score from one to ten. But Barbie’s beachy boyfriend… is a choice “beyond my ken.” Round 2 Prompt word “irascible” HUGO THE HORRIBLE LETS DOWN HIS HAIR Mean as a snake, tough as a bear, Hugo the Horrible lets down his hair. He enters the ring, taking a swing at his wrestling nemesis Larry DeKing. Larry says, “Goldilocks, betcha’ can’t get me!” “Goldilocks?” Hugo booms. “Now you’ve UPSET me.” Larry beware of the Horrible hair! First comes a tickle—a move called The Hair Brush. Next comes a tackle—a move called The Hair Rush. Now comes a blindside—a move called The Bangs. Larry submits to the prickles and pangs from a throw we all know as The Ponytail Fist and is pinned to the mat in a Tricky French Twist. Oh… should the referee run to his aid? The irascible grapplers are stuck in The Braid! Wait. Larry's…winning? He's free of the strangle! He BEATS Hugo's hair with a move called The Tangle. Round 3 Prompt word “chimera” THE LAZIEST ALPHABET LETTER IS K The laziest alphabet letter is K. K lives by the motto--no work & all play. K sings karaoke while flying a kite. K paddles a kayak away out of sight. K kisses koalas and plays the kazoo. K kicks back relaxing with nothing to do as we—C & H—do the bulk of K’s chores. We're sinking K's kayak and taking the oars! We’re tired of pouring K's CHamomile tea. It ought to be Kamomile—don't you agree? You’re such a CHameleon, K, but we see the CHaos you cause when you go absentee: --We CHoreograph every dance in the show --We play every CHaracter, as you lie low --We sing in the CHoir when it should be you The problem is CHronic. But what can we do? It’s quite the chimera—a dream we pursue that’s highly unlikely to ever come true-- but we want a vacation from sounding like K! Perhaps S & H would invite us to stay… A CHauffer will drive to our CHic new CHateau where CHampagne is pouring and CHandeliers glow. We’ll hire a CHef to serve chocolate CHiffon… as K fills the Kasm that’s left when we’re gone. | Round 4 Prompt word “derecho” BE A CHEF TO VIPs! Need a job? Apply today! Can you cook and serve? Be a chef to VIPs! (If you have the nerve.) I got the job! It wasn’t hard (since no one else applied). I strode into the kitchen with a blender by my side. I wondered which celebrities I’d nourish at the venue. My only aim—to please them with a tantalizing menu. Along they came—four famous names! Against enormous odds, the Fates had chosen me to be the chef who serves "the gods." Mighty Thor! Zeus! Jupiter! And Indra! (I was wowed.) The superstars shot lightning bolts while bowing to the crowd. But... the deities were hard to please. I served their food, with knocking knees. —Jupiter would thunder if his pasta sauce was canned. —Zeus would storm and bluster if his moussaka was bland. —Indra cried a monsoon if his curry wasn’t spiced. —Thor would throw a hammer if his herring wasn’t diced. They'd rage like a derecho (an imposing wall of storm), oh, they'd tempest with a temper if their coffee wasn’t warm. They'd hurricane and rampage if I overbaked a pie. Those picky eaters caused an epic food fight in the sky. I quit my job! It put me in a constant state of stress. (Apologies to Earth below. I’m sorry for the mess!) Round 5 Prompt word “ballyhoo” THIS ELIXIR FIXES ALL! The salesman from Santa Fe came rolling into town one day. He hollered loud to draw a crowd, then raised a mason jar, and bowed. With showmanship and ballyhoo he gave a pitch—for Fixer’s Brew. It stops a cough! It cures a cold! It makes you younger if you’re old! We snickered as he fanned the flame by adding an outlandish claim… This tonic is your new shampoo! It straightens hair-- and curls it too! Not a single rube was buying. Still, the charlatan kept trying. Buy it now! My magic brew cures ANY flaw that bothers you! It sparkles eyes! Erases pimples! Straightens wrinkles! Gives you dimples! Folks began a slow retreat. He blustered on (the charming cheat). My concoction makes you thinner! Smarter! Faster! Be a winner! Sip a drop—if you’re too tall! Glug a gallon—if you’re small! This elixir fixes ALL! We felt sorry for the guy. I spoke up and told him why… "We're not falling for your scheme. In the town of Selfesteem no one's uppity or snooty. We see every body's beauty." Then the huckster dropped his act. He shed a tear—and that's a fact. He gazed at each contented face… but didn't leave without a trace. Instead, the man from Santa Fe politely asked us… Can I stay? "Yes! But, throw away that jar. We like each other—as we are." Round 6 Prompt word “clandestine” THE BALLAD OF LONG-LOST SOCKS It’s a mystifying mystery. It's a puzzling paradox-- but in every single load of wash I lose a set of socks! Mom precisely sorts the laundry, yet it seems to be my fate that another lonely solo sock will fail to find its mate! Half my socks are separated-- they’re abandoned and forlorn! For, without their trusty partners, they’re unlikely to be worn. Now I’m limping ‘round my household in a sorry sockless shoe and I wonder where the long-lost socks end up, and what they do… Do they spin themselves to pieces-- nothing left but fluffy lint? Do they shrink to microscopic? Could I see them, if I squint? Have they gathered in the heavens in an afterlife for socks? Have they flown away like seagulls in enormous stocking flocks? Did they wish for independence-- to be foot-loose in the breeze? Do they hold clandestine meetings, planning sock conspiracies? Should I watch for sock assassins? Are my stockings stalking me?!!! Wait a second. I hear voices… From the TV comes a glow, so I glance to see a preview of a brand-new-- puppet show. Annie Anklesock is singing! Crispin Crew delivers jokes! Nora Kneehigh is announcing, “This will knock your socks off, folks!” So, my socks are… entertainers? And it seems they’ve hit it big! Wow! They put their best foot forward and they found themselves a gig. It’s a sacrifice for certain, but to show them that I care, I collect their sole-mates, find the stage… and re-unite each pair! Now I watch their show, at 9 each night. (With feet completely bare.) |
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